Happy Valentines Day Brenna

This is my surprise for Brenna.  There is a very different reason that I started this blogging thing.  Right out...I quit  Drinking. So why would that make me blog.  It has to do with Brenna.  You see I have always drank beer. Sometimes a lot sometimes not so much.  I have quit twice before but always drank NA beer instead.  That does not work.  This time it's all HEB Orange Burst.  I don't really miss drinking.  I didn't like being drunk and all that goes with it.  Mostly the bad behavior. But, damn I like beer.  But alcohol is alcohol and it's addicting. I am not one of those people who need 12 steps or god. I don't think about drinking every day or hour or any of that stuff.  Only when I was drinking did I think about it all the time. When I say I don't need God to help me not drink I mean in the way of those 12 step programs where I think God becomes another crutch. God didn't make me drink or make me stop. He just gave me the tools to get it right if I wanted to. But He did give me Brenna. So again why this blogging stuff.  Well you see I wasn't always there for Brenna when she needed me and sometimes when I was I wasn't always helpful and sometimes she just went to others.  That's not to say I wasn't EVER there for her, I was. Just not always. I regret that and I cannot ever get that back.  But I can go forward.  I enjoy talking to B.  And knowing she can say anything to me at all.  She couldn't always do that. I didn't stop drinking for B but I won't start again because of her.  You see I like talking to her every afternoon while she is driving home.  I love talking to her about art, and faeries, and ghosts, and new cars, and apartments in the city, and all the things that we can think of. So you see, now I can tell the world what a great daughter I have in spite of my short comings and I can have the relationship with her that I have always wanted.  So Happy Valentines Day Brenna Nicole Sanders-Ort, I love You....Mom

Deuce II

All's well with dad for the moment so on with the story.
It all started with Do-dog.  A friend of mine had some springer spaniel mix puppies and B wanted a dog. My family had lots of dogs and B's dad had Bigger but this was to be hers. We go and she picks out the one she wants and home we go.  Now Do wasn't the best choice. I'm sure he had a regular name but we were always saying "Do this Don't Do that" so it stuck.  He was very cute, all black and white freckled on one side and white with black splotches on the other, divided right down the middle. He was funny and lovable but all boy.  He and the cat ran off for a few days to go "catting".  Do returned with "the cat" which was really a possum.They were all curled up in the garage together.  The cat returned a few days later.  Off to the vet Do goes.  Snip snip....He got really mad and ran away.  I saw him some years later living a few miles down the road all grown up but unmistakably marked.

So Brenna still wants a dog but now one she could train with her Auntie Renee. Renee trained her dog in obedience and how to smile. The smile was ghastly, if I find a picture I will post.  So Renee was going to help B and maybe some 4-Hers around us.  We found an ad for Samoyed puppies and went to look.  Absolute love at first sight. B picked her puppy and after a bit of hassle of check versus cash we had the puppy and headed home. Of course he puked on B on the way home and would continue to be a car puker until the epic drive t Dumas Texas whence he had no choice but to overcome this nasty habit.  Brenna and puppy formed a bond that would last 20 years.  She named him Deuce because he was the second dog.
Now before I go into the wonderful life these two silly kids had together I must tell you that Deuce was gay. OK..right, you say!!! Well you will read for yourself and can make your own mind up about this but...any Nordic dog who trains all the barn cats to lay all over him to keep him warm and keep him clean of debris and dirt (clean to the point it was very easy to get this farm dog ready for a show) you might start getting the idea.

til later......

away

Gotta take dad to Temple for his pacemaker.  don't know if we are staying for surgary or coming home and going back at another time.  hope they just doit tomorrow. write more soon

Duece

It all started with Do Dog........

Valentines Day Part Two

Sorry I haven't gotten back folks.  Bad weather and chasing my dad's doctors have kept me busy.  So ,back to the story. 
Brenna has asked me to correct a few things.  She was out of high school and going to work.  "That man" had been taking her to work since his work was just around the corner. She was hit head on by a Toyota something. There corrected.  Any way she spun out coming to rest between two parked cars and the lady of the house called 911 upon hearing her screams.  "That man" found her by those same screams. 
Those few days with her in the hospital were not very fun.  Brenna tried to make everybody around her as miserable as she herself was. I hoped once she got home that would change.  Boy was I wrong! At one point in the hospital she was pushing on her forehead and making funny faces.  I asked her what was up with that and she said "When I press here the back of my head feels all smooshy." Well yeah!!! Concussion!!! So I told her not to press on her forehead if it made her feel weird.  Another time her I.V. had blown her vein and was causing quite a bit of pain. The head floor nurse seemed to be busy elsewhere and Brenna, not known to be patient, went off.  Now I know she hurt and I hated to see her in pain but chewing up orderlies and nurses who could not help her did not endearing her to anyone.( she has been know to bite those who are there to help her)  It got taken out finally and when they asked her if she wanted a pain shot she said yes.  If you know B she is afraid of shots.  Gives ya an idea how much she hurt.
So home we go.  Her wonderful boyfriend Bryce was there to help, soon to be run off.  He rigged a shower chair and garbage bags to cover her nuts and bolts so she could shower.  But sleeping together was tough and she wasn't getting enough sympathy from him so he ran away.  (he did come back)  At one point when she had her walker, Bryce had called and once again was not saying the right things and she threw her walker at me.  Well I just laughed.  Now she was really mad.  I just figured everybody had coddled her enough and I just had to laugh at her.
So here is where my failings come into play. I had to ENTERTAIN her. I realized I had never taught her how to sew.  Now my mom was a very accomplished seamstress and all she taught B was poker and how to spit.  Thanks mom. So I borrowed a sewing machine and we got some materiel and made these really cool pillows.   We did some tyedying for the backs and had some oriental panels for the fronts.  All was fun. B actually caught on so well she went on to make her dress for graduation with no pattern, just a picture in her head and help from her Aunt Nancy (certainly not me). One day on the way to her rehab appointment she saw a PT Cruiser in a car lot.  I told her we would stop and look at it on the way home. So we did.  The salesman was so nice he asked her if she wanted to drive it and of course she couldn't drive at that point let alone walk well so she said she just wanted sit in it. He showed her all the features like the fold down picnic table in the back and all the ways the seats folded down.  I think maybe it had heated seats or some such silliness.  While she was sitting in the drivers seat the sales man asked her how it felt. Her words "It's better than an orgasm!" That was a good day.  We had many good days and lots of bad but we got through it all.  Although her right leg is shorter than her left she only limps when real tired. Years later she informed me she was running 5k races in Austin.  Knock me over with a feather.  My darling daughter who spent months just learning to walk was now running!!!! 
After her first run I was so worried about her leg I was on pin and needles.  She called to talk a bout the run and I asked how it all went.  She said all was well for a good part of the run until....omg I am thinking....well mom "My boob popped out and my partner had to get in front of me while I put it back in." This was one of those Lance Armstrong runs with all the cameras along the way.  How embarrassing!!! Well at least her leg was ok. She is still doing some runs and I couldn't be prouder.  I'm  just glad she has gotten better running bras!!!!  Til later

Valentines Day Part One

So here I am again.  Time for a bit of randomness. Brenna and I used to enjoy spending bookoo money on Valentines Day cards.  Late at night a couple of weeks before the big day we would hit the local 24 hour CVS or such and read ad buy as many cards as friends we could come up with.  One year we took the cards home and promptly lost 'em.  So back we went and bought them all again plus some.  Then found the originals and well, had enough for two years!!!! The in B's junior or sophomore year (I'm not very good at remembering dates and the likes) Valentines Day was so badly damaged I don't either one of us really enjoy it much at all anymore.                                                                                                                                I had gone to Texas (we lived in Indiana then) to spend a month with my parents.  My mother was suffering from degenerative brain disease and I had come down to help my parents get nursing, housekeeping, meals, and any other services I could find for them.  Plus my mom wanted me to go with her to her doctor to learn about her condition and maybe help my dad deal with it.  I had been there only 4 or 5 days when my significant other called a 5 am to tell me Brenna had been in a car wreck and had broken some bones and was in surgery. I quickly clanged my fights and flew home, little knowing it would be a year before I got back and my mom and her condition would have deteriorated to the point that I would have to relocate them both to Indiana to be closer to me.
When I arrived back in Indy "that man" picked me and we stopped for lunch so he could fill me in on what really had happened and how badly Brenna was hurt. Needless to say (and I am going to vent here.) I was appalled. "That man" had decided since I was away he would have B drive to school herself so he could have that missed morning coffee with his buds. Brenna did not  know how to drive on ice and snow that's why he had been taking her to school.  He was only two minutes behind her and was the one to find her crushed and broken car and her broken body!!!!She had hit black ice on the upside of a hill, spun out and was t-bone in her Volkswagen beetle by a truck.  Luckily she had no passenger as they probably would not have survived. I saw her car several days after I got home and was grateful for the hurts she had sustained. Things could have definitely been worse.
So anyway when I first saw her she was really mad at me. Why didn't I get there sooner, why wasn't I going to spend the night with her. And then after the doctor came in and took the bandages off her ankle, she wanted to know why I didn't tell her not to look.  Well I tried to tell her. I truly thought she was going to faint when she saw her ankle.  It looked like Frankenstein, all kinds of hardware and dried blood.  Well she didn't look at her hip and knee on the other leg when those bandages were taken off. I did spend the rest of her hospital time sleeping on a cot in her room and trying to get her to adjust to the months of rehab that were coning up.  We both had no idea how much those next many months would challenge us both and show me some of my failings as a parent and some truths as young person she would no be facing. Part two tomorrow

Why Brenna

So here I am again.  If someone is reading any of this they may ask why am I writing a blog about Brenna Sanders-Ort. Well she told me too!  And she is a grand person to know.

What makes her so special?  Well God did to start with.  The rest of us just added our own bits and pieces. Growing up an only child, the only granddaughter, and the only niece she got lots of attention.  (read spoiled)
But each one of us have given something to her basic makeup to enhance what God had already bestowed upon her.  My mom taught her to spit and play poker. My sister gave her music, musicians and a community of musical spirituality that will stay with her forever and is hers to share. My dad continues to give her his special quiet grouchy love and support in all things Brenna. She is the conservator of his beloved little dog Izzy. He knows she is in good hands. Her dad gives her constant love and support and love of all things Volkswagen. Donnie and Duane the constant and forever grandparents. Aunties Debbie and Denise later in her life have become her sisters.  They take her places she would never think of going.( New York!) I am sure there are more things these people have contributed to her all around person but I would have to ask them. They themselves know. I can't be present in every day of her life.  They have all been a part of her life from day one and spends a great deal of time with all of us, in as much as she can.  I can somewhat say what she has learned from my family in detail and can only surmise what she has been given from her dads family.  At sometime I will relate more of these gifts from others because they all relate to this fantastic young woman who is my daughter.
I must never forget her immense orbit of friends.  Some of them she has know from pre-school!!! I have stayed in touch with maybe a dozen high school friends. I would be proud to have such a friend.  One who would drop everything to be with you when called. A loyal, kind and forever friend. She would walk through fire for her friends and they her.
So what really makes her so so special?... Today in my mail I had a letter from her....Enough money to fix the brakes on my car. And a short note wishing she could have mailed herself here.  A small thing to most but that is the transportation for her grouchy old grandpa to get to his hundred and one doctors appointments coming up in the next few days and weeks.  That's my friends is special.  Til later then...